1/07/2013

My Husbands Story

There was a little Amish boy walking home from school. The little boy was 7 and he had a couple miles to walk. A neighbor asked the little boy named Allen if he'd like a ride. He took him up on it. As Allen was telling the neighbor a story about his Dad the man corrected him and said "Do you know that your Dad is actually your Grandpa?"
So that is how he found out that his parents are actually his Grandparents and his sister Elizabeth is his Mom.
When he went home and asked questions. His family told him the truth. His grandma was a very kind Grandma that also was his Mother to him. He was born out of wedlock and that was such a shame among the Amish so that the Grandparents raised him till he was 12.
Then his real Mother got married to a Schlabach. So Allen went now from being a Mast to a Schlabach. Those first teenage years of having a new Father were rough years. He tells me it was them both the Father was older and never had a teenage son and I wasn't wanting a new Father as a teenager.
He still lived next door to his Grandparents so he still got to see them allot.
When He was 18 he got himself a car. Which is a common practice among the Amish Youth. As he got older his respect and relationship improved with his Father. His yearning to know who his real blood Father never went away. He was never told who it was. Until you've went through that of not knowing you won't understand the desires that are there for you to know who your blood parents are. Think it's a natural instinct the God has put in us.
As he started his dating years it really bothered him. He always thought what if she's my cousin.
When he was 20 he started dating this girl named Lena. She was only 16. She was outgoing,funny and beautiful lol. It was the best thing that ever happened to him and made him very happy. He soon started sharing his secret desire to find his real Father someday.
The thing that still amazes me was I had a best friend in my childhood that experienced the same thing. So I was familiar with the emotions and desires they have of finding their Father.I feel God was preparing me already then for my future husband.
His Mother and his now Father had three children and the one died stillborn. He struggled with thinking why couldn't that been me.
He dated me for 4 years and also left the Amish faith.
His Grandmother passed a couple months before our wedding. She was such a kind sweet lady. 
We were baptized together in a Mennonite church. Then we were married and ready to start a new life together. We soon learned we were raised in very different families. Our families were both Amish but are as different as night and day. His family doesn't like confrontation and would never intentionally hurt others there for they also don't talk about issues. My family is outspoken and talks very boldly about what ever needs to be said, and has no understanding of how hurtful it can be. It is what it is, mentality. Is one right over the other NO. But we have had to, in our almost 20 years of marriage find a balance in the middle.
After being married for 2 years we had a beautiful daughter. As he held her in his arms for the first time he felt an over whelming sense as every new Father does. But along with that came a feeling of sadness as he was thinking his Father never held him like this. As he was now a Father, the sense of him finding his Father became even stronger.
Four years later our son was born. At this point he was a leader in the Mennonite church that we attended and felt strong in his faith. He also was ready to find his Father and ready to face the objection that might come along with it. But he knew he just needed to know who his real Father was.
He also had a good relationship and hunted with the Father that married his Mother. He was healing but felt he needed to know who his Father was since he was now the Father of our daughter and son.
So we started praying and praying for 2 years. It was all our minds consumed us of.
Finally I asked his Mother with his permission and who she told us it was ended up going down a dead end street. Literally he lived on a dead end street and he told us he never was able to have children and doesn't have any.
Two days after we got that news. An angel as I will call her came to us and said she has a message to give us. She was a friend of ours from the church and her father in law was a cousin to my husbands Mom.
She said she knows who his real Father is and his Grandma before she died asked her sister to deliver the message to my husband before she died. The sister which was my husbands great aunt told her son to deliver the message to us. Which the son lived next door to us at the time. I know that's allot to follow. But we stood in aw at the timing of when we were ready to give up hope how we were delivered this exciting news of hope.
They wrote the name and address on a piece paper and first thing we do is look in the phone book to see if we can find him. But he wasn't going to call him up or show up on his doorstep and say "Hey I'm your son!"
So back down on our knees we went. The message was delivered in October. We were secretly hoping to have made some kind of contact before Christmas. But it didn't happen. My Husband struggled with depression and will never forget that Christmas we were all down with the flu and things didn't fall in place like we prayed for them to.
In February of the following year I walked into a Amish home with our son then 2. The lady mentioned how much he looks like my husbands Fathers family. I asked her who she was talking about and she said the Hochstetler's. Which is what the note that the angel delivered to us said was my husbands family.
I about fainted and asked how she knew and she said people always said that's who my husbands Father was. Isn't it funny how you are always the last one to find out.
She personally knew the real Father and his wife really well. I told her our story on what we were praying for in the past couple months. She asked if she can tell them and I said "I'd have to go home and ask my husband". You could say our faith was strengthened by this encounter.
She called us a couple days later and he gave her the OK to contact him.
Then we waited for the call from his Father. My husband made it very clear that he just needs to know who it is and that he has no obligation for a relationship if he doesn't want one.
Still remember exactly what I was doing when his Father called for first time.
He was very friendly. But before any meeting or getting to know them my husband was very certain he wanted to do tests to make sure that he was his Father.
So that was another miracle that happened. The local hospital had never done this type genetic testing before. Usually genetic testing is done at the health department through cotton swaps from the Mother ,Father ,and child. How ever my husband didn't want to put his Mother through that so he had to go another route.
So the local hospital had to contact a company in California. We were told it will be very expensive.
The miracle was our tax return was within the $ amount of the same price it would cost to do the blood test.
They both gave their blood samples at different times. When I went in to pay for it afterward that lady smiled at me and winked and said there is no doubt in my mind they are Father and son.
We were high on the holy spirit and a multitude of other emotions too,as we waited for the test results.
3 weeks later we got a letter in mail saying it has to be over 75% for it to be a match. The results said 99.97% that it was his Father.
I have to tell you. He was so happy and relieved but now nervous for the next step. His Farther did want to meet and have a relationship with him.
In May of 2001 they met for the first time for dinner at a local restaurant. Guess the waitress came back the third time before they were ready to order cause they were so busy talking. They soon realized how much alike they acted and looked.
Then next was us meeting the family. He has two blood sisters he didn't know about. They look allot alike. Also has a stepsister and a stepbrother.
As we connected and watched them we were at aw at how they laughed the same and acted and looked alike. The cousins looked so much alike and we were so blessed with a new family that loved us.
We also told my husbands Mother and Father about it how ever they don't talk about it much but were happy for him.
We were now a big happy family and had a our girl and boy and our prayers were answered on finding his real blood Father. We had never even dreamed of being excepted with such open arms.
Soon the new family started begging us to have another child since they were never a part of the other children when they were baby's. So praise the Lord the following year we had another daughter.
His Grandpa that raised him also died I think ten years ago.
He lost his Father very suddenly a couple years ago. That gave him his Schlabach name and who he ended up having a great relationship with before he died.
So now every Christmas we are blessed with three families. Also our own.
We know our stories are never complete till the end.
My husband is an amazing man that has taught me grace, patience, and kindness.
He's a very forgiving person and loves kids.
Think that his heritage has made him who he is today.
This is our son with my husband.

This is his sisters son. Of his new family isn't it amazing how much they look alike.
 
Wish I had a close up picture of Allen with his Father Willy.
Allen with Cooper and Quinton(nephew and son)
 
He has a good relationship with his Father and Mother and feels blessed to have both of them his life.
We are blessed with our prayers answered and when our faith is weak we reflect on the times they were strong.
 
 
 

Also want to thank my husband for letting me share his story.
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